Magickian in Your Midst

2007-11-24T23:05:00.002-08:00

ScorpionSPRINGTIME 2005

To see a scorpion in your dream, represents a situation in your waking life which may have been painful or hurtful. It is also indicative of destructive feelings, "stinging" remarks, bitter words and/or negative thoughts being expressed by or aimed against you. Your dream forewarns of a self-destructive and self-defeating path. The scorpion is also a symbol of death and rebirth. You need to get rid of the old and make room for something new. Alternatively, the scorpion may also represent a person who is born under the astrological sign for Scorpio.
To see scorpions floating in water, suggests that you need to let go of some pain and learn to accept the situation. You may be going through the three-step process of denial, acceptance, and finally moving on.

Dream symbol: scorpionscorpion, scorpions
Interpretation:Needing to be wary of something, bearing in mind that there’s a sting in the tailA situation that could inflict physical or emotional pain on youSomebody born under the sign of Scorpio
11 Scorpions Seeing a scorpion means that you have a secret enemy. If you got bitten by a scorpion, your enemy is causing you trouble.

p 2 / 7
In the Laboratory
The data in the glass beaker: a dozen scorpionsof various species — a swarming, compromisingsociety of egalitarians. Trampling and trampled upon.Now the experiment: an inquisitive creator blowsthe poison gas insideand immediatelyeach one is alone in the world,raised on its tail, stiff, begging the glass wallfor one more moment.The sting is already superfluous;the pincers do not understand;the straw body waits for the final shudder.Far away, in the dust, the sinister angelsare startled. It’s only an experiment. An experiment. Not a judgmentof poison for poison. ************************To dream perchance a vision awake in deeper thought...I see a dozen golden scorpions....
2/4/05

2007-11-24T23:05:00.001-08:00

RE:LIFE OF HOUSEPLANTS
SPRINGTIME '05

Caring for HouseplantsDavid Trinklein and Ray R. RothenbergerDepartment of HorticultureUniversity of Missouri-Columbia
To many people, a home is not complete without attractive potted plants. Proper care of houseplants helps increase satisfaction and enjoyment from them and extends the blooming period of many flowering plants.
Most potted plants purchased from the florist have been grown in greenhouses under ideal conditions. When they are placed in home environments designed for people, not plants, they need good care to adjust to the new environment.Watering
Houseplants are probably killed or injured more often by improper watering than by any other single factor. No general schedule can be used for watering all houseplants. Size of plant, pot, light, temperature, humidity and other conditions influence the speed with which the soil mass dries out.
When to waterIn general, flowering plants need more water than foliage plants of the same size. Never water any plant unless it needs it. Soil kept either too wet or too dry causes plant roots to die, which leads to poor growth or death of the plant. Never allow plants to wilt, and never allow them to stand in water for long periods of time.
Learn to gauge the moisture content of the soil by its color and feel. As the soil surface dries it becomes lighter. Under continued drying, the soil begins to crack and pull away from the sides of the pot. When severe drying occurs, some damage already will have been done to the roots. Soil kept too moist becomes sticky and slimy, thus inviting root rots and other disease problems.
Kinds of waterOrdinary tap or well water is usually satisfactory for plants. Chlorine and fluorine often added to city water do not harm plants. Rain water or melted snow are excellent. Water run through most water softeners, however, should not be used continuously for watering potted plants.
How to waterPlants may be watered from either the top or the bottom of the pot. If you prefer watering from the top, use a watering can with a small spout and keep as much water off the foliage as possible. Each time, wet the entire soil mass, not just the top inch. Add water until it comes through the drainage hole in the bottom of the pot. Discard water that remains beneath the pot one hour after watering.
Watering from the bottom ensures thorough wetting of the soil mass. Place the pot in a pan or saucer filled with water, or dunk the pot in a bucket of deep water (just below the rim of the pot). When the top of the soil becomes moist, the entire soil ball should be wet. Remove the pot, allow it to drain and return it to the saucer.
Salts may form a white accumulation on the soil surface if plants are watered regularly from the bottom. Occasional watering from the top helps wash out the salts. Don't allow the soil to reabsorb any water that has been run through the soil to leach out salts. Surface salt accumulation may become too heavy to remove in this way. When this happens, scrape off the surface soil and replace it with fresh soil. Try not to injure plant roots.
DrainagePotted plants should always have good drainage. Occasionally the drainage hole may become clogged by roots. Check it by pushing a finger, stick or pencil into it. Even though drainage from the pot may be good, pot coverings may hold water. Pots wrapped in waterproof foil or placed in deep planters should be checked occasionally for standing water.
Plants with "wet feet" soon look sick — leaves yellow or drop, flowers collapse and normally healthy white roots turn brown. Any or all of these can result from stagnation of the water, too little soil oxygen and development of diseases which rot the roots.Lighting
Improper light intensity ranks close to improper watering as a frequent cause for failure with houseplants. A plant in proper light is better able to withstand the high temperature and low humidity of many homes. The amount of light necessary for good growth varies with different types of plants. See Figure 1.
Flowering plantsAll flowering plants need moderately bright light. Plants kept continuously in poor light will have spindly shoots, few flowers, yellow foliage, poor flower color and often little or no growth.
South, east or west windows are excellent for most flowering potted plants, with the possible exception of African Violets and related plants, which prefer a north window. Plants in bloom should be kept out of direct sunlight since the flowers will heat excessively and collapse more quickly.
Light in the average room, away from windows, is not bright enough for most flowering plants, even when ceiling fixtures are kept on.
Fluorescent lights located fairly close to houseplants will improve growth when plants cannot be placed close to windows. When artificial lights are used, place them about one foot above the top of the plant, and keep them on for about 16 hours each day. Extra fertilizer, water or repotting are not cures for insufficient light.
Foliage plantsFoliage plants are generally divided into those suitable for low light areas, moderate light areas and high light areas. Only a few plants can tolerate dimly lit room interiors. Light at a north window, daylight with no direct sun or sunlight diffused through a lightweight curtain are suitable for most foliage plants. Plants that require full sunlight should be put in a south window.
Abrupt change from a location in low light to one in bright light may be damaging. Plants can become acclimated to one location. Leaves gradually face toward light for maximum light absorption, especially in low light areas. Moving the plant disrupts this orientation, and light is not used as efficiently for a period of time. This is especially true of large plants.
Moving abruptly to more intense light also results in bleaching or burning of foliage, especially in direct sun. Any changes should be made gradually. Many plants can be kept from getting one-sided by turning them once a week.TemperatureProper temperatures for plants are often hard to find in the house. A hot, dry atmosphere shortens the life of flowers. Flowering potted plants should receive temperatures from 65 to 75 degrees F in the day and 55 to 60 degrees F at night. To get the most out of flowering potted plants in the home, move them to a cool spot at night.
Foliage plants are more tolerant of high temperatures, but they thrive at temperatures between 65 and 70 degrees.
In winter, plants placed close to a window may have cooler temperatures than those elsewhere in the house. If the drapes are drawn behind these plants at night, the window temperature may be too cool. On cold nights, check temperatures close to windows. Some tropical foliage plants can be injured at temperatures below 40 degrees F.
Do not put plants at windows that have hot air registers or radiators directly below them. Hot air blowing on the plants often causes leaves to brown on the edges and occasionally to drop or die.HumidityAir in most modern homes is extremely dry during the winter. A furnace or room humidifier can help plant growth. If one cannot be used, watertight trays placed beneath the plants and filled with constantly moist sand or gravel help increase humidity around the plants. Pots must be placed on, not in, the wet sand or gravel.
Misting over the leaves daily can help a plant overcome the stress of low humidity. Plants needing constant high humidity such as orchids or gardenias are best kept in kitchens or bathrooms where humidity often runs higher. A relative humidity between 40 and 60 percent is best for most plants but is difficult to attain in the house.FertilizingNewly purchased plants have been well fertilized in the greenhouse. They seldom need additional fertilizer for a few weeks. If plants are to be discarded after flowering, there will be no benefit from fertilizing. Plants to be kept on in the home should be put on a regular fertilization program.
When to fertilizeFertilizing once a month is usually adequate for most houseplants that are producing new growth or flowers. During midwinter (December, January) when no new growth is apparent, fertilizer should be withheld.
Do not use fertilizer to stimulate new growth on a plant located in poor growing conditions. Lack of growth is more often due to improper light or watering than to nutritional deficiencies. In such cases adding fertilizer may actually cause additional injury.
Drop of lower leaves, overall yellow-green color or weak growth may indicate a need for fertilization. Since these same symptoms may result from poor light or overwatering, evaluate all conditions before fertilizing more than normal.
Kind of fertilizersWater soluble, complete fertilizers have been formulated for houseplants and are available from many garden shops, florists and nurseries. They are easy to use. Since formulations vary, be sure to follow directions carefully. Do not apply more than directed. The roots of potted plants are quite restricted and easily burned by the application of too much fertilizer at one time.
Never apply liquid fertilizers to wilted plants. Water the plants first and apply fertilizer after the plants have recovered and the soil has dried slightly.
If soluble fertilizers such as 20-20-20 are available, these may also be used for fertilizing houseplants. Make a solution by mixing 1-1/2 teaspoons of this material in one gallon of water.
Some people prefer to use organic fertilizers for houseplants, but either organic or inorganic fertilizers or a combination of both will be satisfactory sources of nutrients.
Fertilizers that release nutrients slowly or over a long time period require less frequent application than liquid forms. They are available in beads, pills, spikes and other forms. Never exceed amounts suggested by the manufacturer's directions.RepottingPlants just brought home from the greenhouse seldom need immediate repotting. Many will not require potting for some time. A newly acquired plant must make adjustments to its new environment, and repotting immediately puts added strain on the plant.
When a plant is potbound (roots are too extensive for the pot) it may require too frequent watering and makes poor growth. This is a time for repotting.
A good potting mixture for most houseplants consists of a blend of three parts sphagnum peat, one part vermiculite and one part perlite. Many commercially available "peat-lite" mixes are ideal for houseplants. Exceptions are the epiphytic orchids, which should be potted in a very porous medium such as orchid bark, and cacti, which should be potted in equal parts of peat-lite mix and sterile sand. In most cases it is wise to avoid the addition of soil to a potting medium, as this often leads to poor drainage, overwatering and root diseases.
Acid-loving plants such as azaleas and gardenias should have at least 50 percent peat moss or other organic material in the soil mixture. With good care, these plants can be grown successfully in peat moss with no soil added.
Sterilize soil mixes before using them to avoid contamination by insects, diseases and weed seeds. In one method, moist soil is heated in a 200-degree oven for about 30 minutes or until it is heated through. Cover the container or wrap soil in aluminum foil to keep it from drying out while being heated. Chemicals can also be purchased for soil sterilization.
When repotting, avoid excessive damage to the root system. Firm the soil gently around the root ball, but do not press so hard that the soil becomes compacted.
Allow enough space at the top of the pot so that water can be added easily. Water newly potted plants thoroughly, drain and do not water again until necessary.ScalesLink to 600k wav file
Figure 3Scales are shown on the runner of this spider, or airplane, plant. When possible, cut off badly infected areas.The mealy bugLink to 600k wav file
Figure 4The mealy bug, shown here on Fatsia, covers itself with a white, cottony appearing wax that protects it from predators and pesticides. Rubbing alcohol will dissolve the wax and kill the pests Serious spider mite damageLink to 600k wav file
Figure 2Serious spider mite damage on Brassia, or Schefflera. Wash leaves with soapy water to begin controlInsects and diseases
Watch new plants carefully for development of insect or disease problems. If detected early, these problems often can be corrected easily before serious damage is done. If ignored or unseen, they may become difficult to control. The three most common and difficult houseplant pests are spider mites, scales and mealy bugs. See Figures 2, 3 and 4.Summer careDuring the summer, many houseplants can be revitalized if placed outdoors. Do not rush the plants outside too early in the spring. Late May is usually soon enough. Cool nights may injure some of them.
Move the plants to a sheltered spot on a porch, beneath a tree or behind shrubs close to the house on a mild day, preferably when the weather is cloudy. After about one week of this adjustment, they may be moved to a more exposed but sheltered spot for the rest of the summer.
Plants with large leaves should be placed where they get good wind protection, since their leaves are easily torn.
Potted plants dry rapidly outdoors. Frequency of watering can be reduced by submerging the pots in soil. This also keeps pots from falling over. Lift the pots occasionally to keep roots from growing out of the drainage hole in the pot and to prevent the plant from becoming established outdoors. Fertilize monthly, and check occasionally for insects or diseases that may attack them outdoors. Move them indoors by mid-September before cool weather returns.Durable houseplantsAlthough all houseplants grow best with good care, there are a few that stand abuse more than others. Some of the most durable houseplants are snake plant (Sansevieria), heart-leaf philodendron (Philodendron cordatum), devil's ivy (Pothos), corn plant (Dracaena massangeana), Peperomia (Peperomia obtusifolia), cast iron plant (Aspidistra), dwarfpalm (Collinea), Chinese evergreen (Aglaonema) and spider plant (Chlorophytum).Diagnosing cultural problemsProblems resulting from poor growing conditions in the home are difficult to diagnose. Often poor growth results from a combination of several unfavorable factors. See Table 1 for the most favorable cultural conditions for various common houseplants. The following list includes symptoms and causes of several cultural problems.
Lower leaves turn yellow and drop when touched
* Usually caused by overwatering. * May occur when a new plant is moved from greenhouse to a low-light, low-humidity environment.
Yellowing and dropping of leaves at various levels on a plant
* Overwatering. * Poor drainage. * Tight soil. * Chilling. * Gas fumes.
Tips or margins of leaves appear burned, brown or both
* Too much fertilizer. * Plant too dry for a short period of time. * Plant exposed to too low temperature for short period. * Use of softened water.
New leaves of plant are small
* Soil too dry for long periods. * Poorly drained soil. * Tight soil mixture.
New leaves with long internodes
* Not enough light. * Temperature too high.
Leaves yellow or light green, weak growth
* Too much light. * Poor root system — possibly from poor drainage, overwatering or tight soil.
Explanations
Night temperatureMay fluctuate several degrees above or below listing. Day temperature should be 10 to 15 degrees higher.
No direct sunLow light intensity suitable. Direct sun may bleach or burn foliage.
Filtered lightNeeds good light but protection from long periods of bright sunlight.
Bright lightSuitable for south window exposure close to or in direct sunlight.
Thoroughly wetDaily watering generally required. May stand in water for brief periods.
Evenly moistFrequent watering required, but must never stand in water. Soil surface should always feel moist.
Drench, then drySoak root ball thoroughly, then allow the soil to become fairly dry before watering again. Do not allow the plant to wilt, however. Cultural preferences of plants often grown in the home
* African violet, Saintpaulia 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Amaryllis 55 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Aluminum plant (related pileas) 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Arrowhead, Nephthytis 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Asparagus fern, Plumosus 50 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Australian tree fern 65 degrees at night, filtered light, thoroughly wet, challenging to maintain * Begonia (many types) 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Bromeliads 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Burn plant, Aloe 55 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, easy to maintain * Cactus (desert types) 65 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, easy to maintain * Cast iron plant, Aspidistra 50 degrees at night, no direct sun, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Chinese evergreen, Aglaonema 65 degrees at night, no direct sun, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Christmas cactus 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist * Christmas pepper 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist * Chrysanthemum 55 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist * Coleus 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist * Coral berry 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Croton 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Cyclamen 50 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Cymbidium orchid 55 degrees at night, filtered to bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Dieffenbachia, Dumb cane 65 degrees at night, filtered light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Dracaena, Corn plant, Ti plant (related types) 65 degrees at night, filtered light, thoroughly wet, easy to maintain * Dwarf orange, other citrus 55 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, challenging to maintain * Dwarf schefflera 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * English ivy, Hedera 50 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Episcia, flame flower 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Ferns (many types) 55 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Fiddleleaf fig 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Fuschia, Lady's eardrops 55 degrees at night, no direct sun, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Gardenia 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, challenging to maintain * German ivy 60 degrees at night, filtered to bright light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Gloxinia 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Hibiscus 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Holiday cactus 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Hydrangea 55 degrees at night, bright light, thoroughly wet, moderately easy to maintain * Jade plant, Crassula 65 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Kalanchoe 55 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Maidenhair fern, Adiantum 65 degrees at night, no direct sun, thoroughly wet, moderately easy to maintain * Moses-in-the-cradle, Rhoeo 55 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Norfolk Island pine 55 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Orchid (Cattleya types) 55 degrees at night, filtered light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Palms 65 degrees at night, no direct sun, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Peace lily, Spathiphyllum 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Peperomia, pepper face 65 degrees at night, filtered light, drench, then dry, easy to maintain * Philodendron (many types) 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Poinsettia 65 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Podocarpus 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Ponytail palm 65 degrees at night, filtered to bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Pothos, devil's ivy 65 degrees at night, filtered light, drench, then dry, easy to maintain * Prayer plant, Maranta 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Rubber plant, Ficus 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Sago palm, Cycad 55 degrees at night, filtered light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Schefflera, Umbrella tree 65 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Sedums 55 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Shrimp plant 55 degrees at night, bright light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Snake plant, Sansevieria 65 degrees at night, filtered to bright light, drench, then dry, easy to maintain * Spider plant, Chlorophytum 50 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Spineless yucca 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Split-leaf philodendron 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Swedish ivy 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Velvet plant, Gynura 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Wax plant, Hoya 65 degrees at night, filtered light, drench, then dry, moderately easy to maintain * Wandering Jew, Tradescantia 55 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, easy to maintain * Weeping fig, Ficus 65 degrees at night, bright light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain * Zebra plant, Aphelandra 65 degrees at night, filtered light, evenly moist, moderately easy to maintain

2007-11-24T23:05:00.000-08:00

In the Name of ______natas..............
The royal diadem of satan's crown smashed downupon the ugly queen's head, bloodied countenance smiling,the crowd roared, "Is she dead!? Is she dead!?"Feet kicking about her rumpled body lying in the pathtrodden down heavy with the feet of believer's in a darkworld where children are left crying and dying, they giggleand laugh and point and jeer, the queen's face a broken smearof love lost and disappoinment found in her last breaths, she upon the groundthat gave her life and now this end of suffering and turmoil, misunderstood to the dying day when the black sun shone down in a most miserable way , her fate sealed uponsmug lips, they were certain the evil would vanish when they buried her in a shallow graveon the edge of a city without pity where they kill and rob for play and wait again for another to slay, the evil again, when another one comes, misunderstood to be sacrificedin the name of satan.

Written in 2005/Spring

nox

Wrapped in the cloak of an ebon night,I close my eyes and I ask for sight,I look to the stars smiling down upon me,I ask them softly, "What do you see?"Is it some fear or is it just flightfrom the truth that is hiddenon this dark, cold night.Or is it the absence of the one I hold dearTears drop from my eyesfor I can see clearThe countenance of the one I hold nearHe is not far, his spirit is here.Wrapped in a cloak of this ebon nightI open my eyes, for I've found sightI look to Nuit smiling down upon me,I whisper softly to tell what I seeIt is not fear, nor is it flightThe truth has been revealedon this dark, cold night.I am in love with a man ______I wipe my eyes, I know we are threeIt is this love we have claimedgiggling at me from the universeI realize the joke is on me.

~d'Fiends Fotos of Psychotropiatica : eYe See With My I~: the Un-Holy Trinity of our "To HELL in a Christmas handbasket" culture~

2006-06-12T03:30:00.000-07:00

~d'Fiends Fotos of Psychotropiatica : eYe See With My I~: the Un-Holy Trinity of our "To HELL in a Christmas handbasket" culture~

2005-10-01T08:34:00.000-07:00

colour me blue, but i am a star nonetheless.
a bluestar,
cold,
distant,
dying?
no.
morphing.
into
a
bigger
better
brighter
star.
:O)
eye aspire to that for which eye cannot see,
the supernal life in a far off galaxy, uncharted territories, familiar faces, lost in a world, not my home, this place...call me psychonautic womanimal from innerouterspace...
sick of writing
of words
thinking is produced
out of little written
need to take heed
and
stay out of my mind,
as much as possible.

people with comments...

2005-10-01T08:30:00.000-07:00

please don't bother if it's just a useless advertisement. i have no interest in your business, furthermore, stay out of mine if you are just using my site for your business. i do not appreciate being spammed with your "comments." anticontamination now begins in minus ten seconds, nine, eight, seven....
i will post my own crud on here, thank you very much...
la klvm23

^^^tree of knowledge^^^

2005-09-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

a la bob dobb's style a la mode $2.50
with side order of nuts $3.00

vama-gnose

2005-09-30T13:12:00.000-07:00

though he belittles me, i love him.
though he lies to me, i love him.
though he betrays me, i love him.
though he steals from me, i love him.

love is not everything.
love is kind.
fuck kindness.
love fucking.

objectifed, identified
fingered object
vanishes

before your very eyes

mystery giggles.
fate wiggles.
nuit has had it.
a vision.
flesh it out.
scream.
cry.
but get it out.
the real.
see it now.
at
a theatre of
the absurd
near you.

shitfuckshitfuckshitsuck
sometime's it works
sometime's it's broke
if it's not broke
don't fix it
if it is broke
fix it
^V^

self divination...the question is, "what's it all mean?" lol, who tf cares. not me.

2005-09-30T08:16:00.000-07:00

Stichomancy for Anonymous
The excerpt represents the core issue or deciding factor on which you must meditate, and is drawn from Several Works by Edgar Allan Poe:

roof. There was no light of any kind emanating from lamp or candle within the suite of chambers. But in the corridors that followed the suite, there stood, opposite to each window, a heavy tripod, bearing a brazier of fire, that projected its rays through the tinted glass and so glaringly illumined the room. And thus were produced a multitude of gaudy and fantastic appearances. But in the western or black chamber the effect of the fire-light that streamed upon the dark hangings through the blood-tinted panes, was ghastly in the extreme, and produced so wild a look upon the countenances of those who entered, that there were few of the company bold enough to set foot within its precincts at all.
+ + + + + +
+ + + + +
love evol.
not afraid to
boldly go
where
i
have
not
gone
before.
must squelch
anxiety.
begone!
va-moose!!
scat cat!!!
k.

17/11

2005-09-29T07:53:00.000-07:00

17
11
keep popping up.
daily observation.
elemental junk observatory.
sheltered on a hill.
vast horizon points
to a new direction.
need oxygen.breathe.
breathe.
yes.
better now.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The Cry of the 17th Aethyr,
Which is Called TAN1

Into the stone there first cometh the head of a dragon, and then the Angel Madimi2. She is not the mere elemental that one would suppose from the account of Casaubon. I enquire why her form is different.

She says: Since all things are God, in all things thou seest just so much of God as thy capacity affordeth thee3. But behold! Thou must pierce deeply into this Aethyr before true images appear4. For TAN is that which transformeth judgment into justice5. BAL is the sword, and TAN the balances6.

A pair of balances appears in the stone, and on the bar of the balance is written: Motion about a point is iniquity7.

And behind the balances is a plume, luminous, azure8. And somehow connected with the plume, but I cannot divine how, are these words: Breath is iniquity9. (That is, any wind must stir the feather of truth.)

And behind the plume is a shining filament of quartz, suspended vertically from the abyss to the abyss10. And in the midst is a winged disk11 of some extremely delicate, translucent substance, on which is written in the "dagger" alphabet: Torsion is iniquity12. (This means, that the Rashith Ha-Gilgalim is the first appearance of evil.13)

And now an Angel appears, like as he were carven in black diamonds. And he cries: Woe unto the Second, whom all nations of men call the First14. Woe unto the First, whom all grades of Adepts call the First15. Woe unto me, for I, even as they, have worshipped him. But she is whose paps are the galaxies16, and he that never shall be known17, in them is no motion. For the infinite Without filleth all and moveth not18, and the infinite Within goeth indeed19; but it is no odds, else were the space-marks confounded20.

And now the Angel is but a shining speck of blackness in the midst of a tremendous sphere of liquid and vibrating light, at first gold, then becoming green, and lastly pure blue21. And I see that the green of Libra is made up of the yellow of air and the blue of water, swords and cups, judgment and mercy22. And this word TAN meaneth mercy23. And the feather of Maat is blue because the truth of justice is mercy24. And a voice cometh, as it were the music of the ripples of the surface of the sphere: Truth is delight 25. (This means that the Truth of the universe is delight.)

Another voice cometh; it is the voice of a mighty Angel, all in silver; the scales of his armour and the plumes of his wings are like mother-of-pearl in a framework of silver26. And he sayeth: Justice is the equity that ye have made for yourselves between truth and falsehood. But in Truth there is nothing of this, for there is only Truth. Your falsehood is but a little falser than your truth27. Yet by your truth shall ye come to Truth. Your truth is your troth with Adonai the Beloved one28. And the Chymical Marriage of the Alchemists beginneth with a Weighing, and he that is not found wanting hath within him one spark of fire, so dense and so intense that it cannot be moved, through all the winds of heaven should clamour against it, and all the waters of the abyss surge against it, and all the multitude of the earths heap themselves upon it to smother it. Nay, it shall not be moved29.

And this is the fire of which it is written: "Hear thou the voice of fire!" And the voice of fire is in the second chapter of The Book of the Law30, that is revealed unto him that is a score and half a score and three that are scores, and six, by Aiwass, that is his guardian, the mighty Angel that extendeth from the first unto the last, and maketh known the mysteries that are beyond. And the method and the form of invocation whereby a man shall attain to the knowledge and conversation of his Holy Guardian Angel shall be given unto thee in the proper place31, and seeing that the word is deadlier than lightning, do thou meditate straitly thereupon, solitary, in a place where is no living thing visible, but only the light of the sun. And thy head shall be bare32. Thus mayest thou become fitted to receive this, the holiest of the Mysteries. And it is the holiest of the Mysteries because it is the Next Step. And those Mysteries which lie beyond, though they be holier, are not holy unto thee, but only remote. (The sense of this passage seems to be, that the holiness of a thing implies its personal relation with one, just as one cannot blaspheme an unknown god, because one does not know what to say to annoy him. And this explains the perfect inefficiency of those who try to insult the saints; the most violent attacks are very often merely clumsy compliments.)

Now the Angel is spread completely over the globe, a dewy film of silver upon that luminous blue.

And a great voice cries: Behold the Queen of Heaven, how she hath woven her robes from the loom of justice33. For as that straight path of the Arrow cleaving the Rainbow became righteousness in her that sitteth in the hall of double truth34, so at last is she exalted unto the throne of the High Priestess, the Priestess of the Silver Star, wherein also is thine Angel made manifest35. And this is the mystery of the camel that is ten days in the desert, and is not athirst, because he hath within him that water which is the dew distilled from the the night of Nuit36. Triple is the cord of silver, that it may be not loosed; and three score and half a score and three is the number of the name of my name37, for that the ineffable wisdom, that also is of the sphere of the stars, informeth me38. Thus am I crowned with the triangle that is about the eye, and therefore is my number three39. And in me there is no imperfection, because through me descendeth the influence of TARO40. And that is also the number of Aiwass the mighty Angel, the Minister of Silence.

And even as the shew-stone burneth thy forehead with its intolerable flame, so he who hath known me, though but from afar, is marked out and chosen among men, and he shall never turn back or turn aside, for he hath made the link that is not to be broken, nay, not by the malice of the Four Great Princes of evil of the world, nor by Chorozon, that mighty Devil, nor by the wrath of God, nor by the affliction and feebleness of the soul.

Yet with this assurance be not thou content; for though thou hast the wings of the Eagle, they are vain, except they be joined to the shoulders of the Bull. Now, therefore, I send forth a shaft of my light, even as a ladder let down from the heaven upon the earth, and by this black cross of Themis that I hold before thine eyes, do I swear unto thee that the path shall be open henceforth for evermore.

There is a clash of a myriad silver cymbals, and silence. And then three times a note is struck upon a bell, which sounds like my holy Tibetan bell, that is made of electrum magicum41.

I am happily returned unto the earth.

Bou-Sada.
December 2, 1909. 12:15 - 2 a.m.

1. TAN = {Leo}{Taurus}{Scorpio} = {HEB:Gemel}{HEB:Vau}{HEB:Nun} = 59. This number is a prime, representing the Yoni demanding "justice". This Aethyr instructs the candidate in the formula of justice, of Equilibrium.
2. See Casaubon's edition of the Sixth book of Dr. Dee's "Conversations with some Spirits."
3. A profound truth of universal application. The master-key to any man's character is his appreciation of the universe. To one, Pan means terror and madness, to another, the All-God.
4. This is more and more the case as we progress.
5. Judgment --- the unmitigated feminine, the severity of sterility. Justice --- she is satisfied by the sword (phallus) and balances (testes) as shown in Atu XIII. The symbolism of the letter Lamed must be very thoroughly studied. It represents the flux of the universe in extension. Contrast this positive equilibrium with the negative, Aleph. The two together form AL (the title of The Book of the Law ) which expresses the universe in its phases, 0 and 2.
6. The Enochian word for Justice used at the end of the Call of the 30 Aethyrs is BALATANU, (the 2nd A and the U merely support their constonants L and N). Bal is Hebrew for Lord, i.e. the phallus. See previous note.
7. It disturbs the simplicity, introducing a new dimension.
8. The blue feather is Maat, the Goddess of Truth.
9. Breath implies duality, vibration. It thus disturbs peace and silence.
10. The middle pillar of the Tree of Life. Quartz, perhaps as auriferous.
11. The winged disk = Hadit, i.e. any point which one chooses to consider as being the centre from which to contemplate the universe.
12. To twist one's point of view is to obtain a false idea.
13. The "Beginning of Whirling Motions" introduces duality.
14. The Demiurgos, Microprosopus, the Black Reflected Countenance, the Creator. He must be distinguished from the Logos. The difference is that the Demiurge creates on his own account; he is not like the Logos, the transmitter of Energy of Kether, and its formulation in a Word.
15. Macroposopus himself. For in the ontology of the New Aeon, he is no longer the unique and supreme Point-of-View, to which every ego is subsidiary and must conform.
16. Nuit (See Liber LXV, V, v. 65.)
17. Hadit (See AL, II, v. 4)
18. Space cannot move, being an idea invented to explain motion. 9. See AL, II, v. 7)
19. See Liber AL vel Legis, II, v. 7.
20. i.e. it does not matter what mode we choose to represent these ideas for if it did, we should be unable to measure phenomena at all.
21. The outburst is realized as Love (Venus = green). The green light that comes through thin lamin of gold. And this is absorbed in the true blue of Nuit --- its goal.
22. Severity and Mercy (Geburah and Chesed) are joined by the reciprocating path of Leo. This is Atu IX {WEH Note: SIC. Should be Atu XI} countercharged with Atu VIII (Libra). Thus Leo, the strength of the Sun, life itself, is one with Libra, justice; for the letter Lamed signifies the Universe in extension.
23. TAN is given in above as meaning the Balances. Thus, as shown in the previous note, the truth of Justice is Mercy. Hence, to aim at Mercy, which is an idea without measure, and therefore incommensurable with Truth, is to invoke Justice. The injunction is: Be strictly just, and you will find that you have accomplished the true Work of Love.
24. See previous note. The blue is again that of Nuit. Justice is only complete when the disturbance of positive existence is annulled by absorption into the Body of Our Lady of the Stars.
25. See AL, II, v.9. "Remember all ye that existence is pure joy;" et al.
26. This silver is the queen scale of Luna, the reflection in positive material nature of the personified idea of Nuit. The angel appears in the path of Gimel uniting Tiphareth with Kether. He is Atu II. See infra.
27. Human justice is a compromise intended to meet an admittedly false situation. Cf. Lao-tse: Benevolence and righteousness only appear when all naturalness is gone.
28. Hence the justice of making the Attainment of the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel is the next step. The original evil is the separation from Him; so the only approximation to truth is one's oath to Him.
29. This spark is Hadit; (hence the reference to Lib. AL, II) he cannot be moved because he is already in motion at the limit of velocity.
30. The Oracle of Zoroaster says: "And when, after all the phantoms are vanished shall appear that holy and formless fire, that fire which darts and flashes throughout the depths of the universe --- hear thou the voice of the fire!" And this is the utterance of Hadit, the deepest expression of one's inmost point of view.
31. See 8th Aire.
32. This I performed in a sort of cave upon the ridge of a great mountain in the Desert near Bou-Sada at 12-3 p.m. on Dec. 2.
33. This blue and silver of Luna, the "queen of heaven" (in King and Queen scales) are said to be derived from the justice in her true nature. This justice refers to her point on the Tree; the troth with Adonai.
34. The arrow = Sagittarius = blue. Its ruler = Jupiter = blue (Queen scale) = Righteousness. The plumes of Maat, are blue.
35. Here we are asked to note a certain correspondence of ascending vibration. {HEB:Samekh} = {Sagittarius}, {HEB:Lamed} = {Libra}, {HEB:Gemel} = {Moon}. {GRK:Lambda} {GRK:Gamma} {GRK:Sigma} are the consonants of Logos. We shall see later an important doctrine drawn from this special association of these three letters. The Holy Guardian Angel appears as {HEB:Gemel} because of its position on the Tree.
36. {HEB:Gemel} means camel. The ten days are the 7x10 years of normal life. Man can go through that desert, nourished by the Knowledge and Conversation of the H.G.A.
37. 73 = {HEB:Lamed}{HEB:Mem}{HEB:Gemel}, a camel. Triple, for {HEB:Gemel} = 3. The cord of silver; the lunar path descending from Kether.
38. Wisdom = {HEB:Heh}{HEB:Mem}{HEB:Koph}{HEB:Chet} = 73. Mazloth, the sphere of the Stars, pertains to Chokmah.
39. The Eye --- {HEB:Ayin} = 70. 3 + 70 = 73. 73 is is here explained as the Eye in the Triangle. So Aiwass is the Eye in the Star of Hermes, the messenger, whose formula is 418 = {HEB:Chet}
40. TARO has 78 symbols and 78 = {HEB:Aleph}{HEB:Lamed}{HEB:Zain} {HEB:Mem}, the influence that descends from the Most Holy Ancient One, Kether, and therefore referred to {HEB:Gemel}. The equation 78 = Aiwass; at this time, the Seer thought that Aiwass was spelled {HEB:Samekh} {HEB:Aleph} {HEB:Vau}{HEB:Yod}{HEB:Aleph} = 78 {WEH Note: TS has "418"}, Whereas, as he found later, {HEB:Zain}{HEB:Vau} {HEB:Yod} {HEB:Ayin} = 93 and {GRK:Alpha} {GRK:iota} {GRK:digamma} {GRK:alpha}{GRK:sigma}{GRK:sigma} = 418. But 78 is actually the number of Aiwass in another way.
41. Electrum magicum is an alloy of the seven sacred metals, each being added at a moment chosen for its astrological advantages.

gore fest-eat me

2005-09-29T07:45:00.000-07:00

hurt.
treats me like
shit.
great.
see it.
smell it.
embrace it.
taste it.
hear it.
loud
and
clear.
it's
all about
control.
in your face y.
what's your
issue?
nothing
left.
stripped.
you
know
you
owe
the
queen
of
clubs
something.
wake
up
y.
you're losing it.
k
?

meat meat a wonderful treat

2005-09-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

yum. what's happening here? this is gross. i don't get what she's doing there, or he, the gloved hand prying open what organ belonging to what beast? ech, ptewy, argh, gaggy...
now can anyone tell me why i post these things? damn.
reconciling self with non-self.
neither-neithering it.
wow.
what a tall order.
subject my mind to so many hideous scenarios, wondering if it is true, i absorb too much kaos for my own greater good...
sacrifice.
again.
nox
nox
who's there?
i see pan
in his underwear.
(lol, make sure you have on a clean pair whenever you leave the house)...
oh, need to go to the store, for food, feel queezy, don't wanna eat,
this photo is supposed to squelch my appetite for good.
unfortunately, it did not work.
gonna go get me some vie--ee-nuh sausages in a little can....potted meat, mmmmm....
jk.
i do not eat meat.
i do eat dead fish from time to time.
cat style.
ciaomeowfornow suckers.
venus

UN-YUNS and STUFF....

2005-09-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

forgot to mention the title of the last post, regarding onions...and hot electronica factoids...all to make this ghoul feel better, nothing more than salve applied to wounds bleeding all over the place, still laffin', what the hell else can i do? not gonna lose it over nothing...
not worth it.
:O)
94s
l.i.t.l.l.u.w.
kimbob

2005-09-28T10:15:00.000-07:00

14
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΙΔ
ONION-PEELINGS

The Universe is the Practical Joke of the General at the Expense of the Particular, quoth FRATER PERDURABO, and laughed.

But those disciples nearest to him wept, seeing the Universal Sorrow.

Those next to them laughed, seeing the Universal Joke.

Below these certain disciples wept.

Then certain laughed.

Others next wept.

Others next laughed.

Next others wept.

Next others laughed.

Last came those that wept because they could not see the Joke, and those that laughed lest they should be thought not to see the Joke, and thought it safe to act like FRATER PERDURABO.

But though FRATER PERDURABO laughed openly, He also at the same time wept secretly; and in Himself He neither laughed nor wept.

Nor did He mean what He said.

COMMENTARY (ΙΔ)

The title, "Onion Peelings", refers to the well-known incident in "Peer Gynt".

The chapter resembles strongly Dupin's account of how he was able to win at the game of guessing odd or even. (See Poe's tale of "The Purloined Letter".) But this is a more serious piece of psychology. In one's advance towards a comprehension of the universe, one changes radically one's point of view; nearly always it amounts to a reversal.

This is the cause of most religious controversies. Paragraph 1, however is Frater Perdurabo's formulation of his perception of the Universal Joke, also described in Chapter 34. All individual existence is tragic. Perception of this fact is the essence of comedy. "Household Gods" is an attempt to write pure comedy. "The Bacchae" of Euripides is another.

At the end of the chapter it is, however, seen that to the Master of the Temple the opposite perception occurs simultaneously, and that he himself is beyond both of these.

And in the last paragraph it is shown that he realises the truth as beyond any statement of it.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
funny. this part, the "onions and stuff" came together a couple of days before i picked up a copy of "book of lies", doing a little stichomancy, i.e. divining a paragraph of written word...opened to 14, "onion peelings" hehehe....well then, there you go....been on the onion for a week or so, peeling away, another layer revealing another waiting to get stripped down to the core...what's at the heart of the onion is my next question...
Onion

The onion, Allium cepa, of the family Amaryllidaceae, is by far the most important bulb vegetable. It is used both in its green stage as a scallion, or green onion, and in its mature stage as a bulb--the tightly packed globe of food-storage leaves containing the volatile oil that is the source of the onion's pungent flavor. Thought to have originated in Asia, the onion has been cultivated since ancient times.

"..Pliny shows, that Onions increase desire of copulation in beasts, as the herb Rotchet does in men..."

"...Nuts and Onions have a sympathy or agreement of nature. And therefore if you lay up Nuts among Onions, the Onions will cause the Nuts to last the longer..."

The Telharmonium

In 1897, Thaddeus Cahill, lawyer, engineer, entrepreneur, received a patent titled 'Art of and Apparatus for Generating and Distributing Music Electronically'. His plan was to broadcast music via telephone lines to restaurants, hotels, and private homes. The sounds were to be heard through loudspeakers that he had designed to be attached to telephone receivers.

Cahill attracted investors, formed a company, built the Telharmonium, and, in 1906, moved it to Telharmonic Hall at 39th Street and Broadway, New York City. Technical problems caused the business to collapse in 1908. Revived briefly, the project terminated in 1914.

Intonarumori

In 1913, Luigi Russolo, avowed Futurist, wrote L'Arte dei Rumori (The Art of Noises), a manifesto declaring that noise would revolutionize the concert hall. He said, "All this will naturally make music-lovers scream ..."

He then built the Intonarumori (noise-generating instruments). On April 24, 1914, at the Teatro Dal Verme in Milan, he conducted the first 'Gran Concerto Futuristica' with formally dressed musicians playing gurglers, cracklers, howlers, thunderers ... The audience responded by throwing vegetables, booing, hooting and whistling.

The Theremin

Invented by Leon Theremin in 1920, the Theremin is the earliest electronic instrument to remain in active use today. The instrument contains a vertical rod that emerges from the top of a cabinet, and a loop that emerges horizontally from the left side of a cabinet. Moving a hand closer to the vertical rod changes pitch. Moving a hand closer to the loop changes volume.

Clara Rockmore, who performed the Theremin at Town Hall in New York in 1934, became the first theremin virtuosa. Listen to this excerpt from Clara Rockmore's performance of Saint-Saens' The Swan.
·

Ballet Mécanique

Ballet Mécanique, composed in 1924 by George Antheil, an American composer then living in Paris, was scored for player pianos, percussion, and airplane propellors. A scandalous success at its first performance in 1926, it is known for its outrageous orchestration and the idea of using non-traditional sounds in a musical context.

Ondes Martenot

Designed and built in 1928 in France by Maurice Martenot, the Ondes Martenot (Martenot Waves) was used by Oliver Messiaen, Darius Milhaud, Edgard Varèse, Pierre Boulez, and other well-known composers.

In its most recognizable form, it was a keyboard instrument with some unusual performance features, among them a finger-ring attached to a ribbon that could be pulled to achieve portamento and other pitch-bending effects, a lever located under the keyboard to control timbral change, and a loudness controller to the left of the keyboard.

·
Trautonium

Built by Friedrich Trautwein in 1928 at the Hochschule für Musik in Berlin, Germany, the Trautonium was designed as a performance instrument. A performer pressed a finger down at a certain position on a wire to produce a tone at a particular pitch. Loudness was controlled by pressing a bar. Timbre was controlled via switches that filtered an initially complex waveform.

Oskar Sala expanded the Trautonium to create the Mixturtrautonium and used it to compose sound effects for films, among them Hitchcock's The Birds.

The Hammond Organ

Hammond B3

The Hammond organ, developed by Laurens Hammond and introduced in 1935, was the first commercially successful electric instrument. It was widely used in homes. It was also widely used in jazz, rock, and popular music performance, and it sparked the interest of George Gershwin, Ethel Smith, and other prominant musicians.

Imaginary Landscape #1

Imaginary Landscape #1, composed by John Cage in 1939, combined recorded sounds (played on two variable speed turntables), percussion and noise. Other 'imaginary landscapes' followed. Imaginary Landscape #4, composed in 1951, called for twelve radios. Imaginary Landscape #5, composed in 1952, used material for 42 phonograph records.

As early as 1937 Cage predicted: "I believe that the use of noise to make music will continue and increase until we reach a music produced through the aid of electrical instruments ..."

Musique Concrète

Etude aux Chemins de Fer (Railroad Study), composed by Pierre Schaeffer in 1948, is a recorded assemblage of steam engines, whistles, and other railroad sounds. It is the first recorded assemblage of sounds.

Etude aux Chemins de Fer

Schaeffer coined the term 'musique concrète' to describe a music made 'concretely' by working directly with sounds, as against music made 'abstractly' by working with symbols for sounds (as in a musical score). In 1951, he organized the Groupe de Recherche de Musique Concrète, the focus of which was working with tape recorders.

MoMA Concert 1952

The first public concert of electronic music in the United States took place at the Museum of Modern Art in New York City in October 1952. The music, by Otto Luening and Vladimir Ussachesky, had been composed by editing and processing sounds that had been previously recorded on tape. Luening's Low Speed, for example, took the sounds of a flute below the flute range and processed them to sound like a "strange new instrument". The music was then played back on tape recorders during the concert.

Pupitre d'espace

The photo (n/a-visualize it) at the left shows Pierre Henry in 1952 at the Salle de L'Ancien Conservatoire in Paris, manipulating the spatial distribution of sounds. He is using the pupitre d'espace (space control), a device utilizing induction coils, built by Jacques Poullin in 1951 at Pierre Schaeffer's suggestion.

WDR

The electronic music studio at the WDR (Westdeutscher Rundfunk / West German Radio) was built through 1952 and officially opened in 1953 with a single sine wave generator, a white noise generator, a Melochord and Monochord built by Harald Bode, and tape recorders.

Electronic Sackbut

Hugh Le Caine began work on what he called the 'Electronic Sackbut' in 1947. He said, "I am working on a method of making small changes in pitch affect the timbre appreciably, for the same old reason, to prevent a mechanical sound. I am also working on a circuit which makes the transition between two notes a gradual change in pitch ..."

The Sackbut keys allowed vertical pressure to control loudness and shape of attack, and lateral pressure to control pitch bending. Expressive effects such as rasping, buzzing, and breathing emulated the imperfections of acoustic sounds and avoided what Le Caine called the "monotonous purity" of electronic sound.

Gesang der Jünglinge

Karlheinz Stockhausen's Gesang der Jünglinge (Song of the Children), composed in 1956, was one of the first works to include spatialization as an compositional element. The original version utilized five loudspeakers, positioned spatially to surround the audience. As Stockhausen describes it: "The direction and movement of the sounds in space is shaped by the musician, opening up a new dimension in musical experience."

Forbidden Planet

Louis and Bebe Barron founded a personal studio in New York City in 1948. They started by developing circuits to generate sounds, then worked with John Cage and David Tudor in assembling sounds for the Project for Music for Magnetic Tape, then wrote electronic films scores for Bells of Atlantis in 1953 and Forbidden Planet in 1956. Forbidden Planet is known as the first film with an entirely electronic score.

The Illiac Suite

In 1955, Lejaren Hiller, working with Leonard Isaacson at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, began a series of experiments in computer-automated musical composition. In 1957, they finished the 'Illiac Suite' for string quartet, the first substantial musical composition created with a computer.

Hiller commented: "I observed that if we could program a computer to simulate a 'walk' through, say, ordinary space, we could also simulate a 'walk' through a grid defined to represent musical elements such as pitch, rhythmic durations, and timbre choices ..."

Concrète PH

Iannis Xenakis composed Concret PH in 1958 at the studios of the Groupe de Recherches Musicales in Paris.

Concrèt PH used the sounds of burning charcoal as its source material, transformed through various tape machine manipulations. It was played as an interlude between presentations of Varese' Poème Electronique in the Philips Pavilion at the Brussels World's Fair in 1958.

GrEaT sHiT cOmEs OuT oF sTiNkY tUrDs

2005-09-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

smell it, sweet smell of caca wafting through the woods...poo stuck in my shoe, giggling whilst walking down a doodoo path of life, death and rebirth, no witches here, no cackling but maybe a but of cake baking before the end of AUM-tumn...mmhmm...applesauce cake with cream cheese frosting...walnuts and hunks of granny smith...

BLah...

94s overscore noting more than another

number

means
nothing
in
the adding up
the equation
always
comes
back
to
zero
.
0+0=2

2005-09-26T13:44:00.001-07:00

2005-09-26T13:40:00.000-07:00

invested too much time into this piece of shit to give up now. old motor runs off of archaic repair manuals from the 50's. very embarassing when inquiring online as to how to configure new diagrams for old manual outline. suspense-filled atmosphere filled with stale dirt-like odour combined with that of musty old books and leather. dank and musty, soily and fragrant to the point of wanting to bite the air.

loved him
hate me
blank stare
a conundrum
unfolding
anomaly

2005-09-19T15:46:00.002-07:00

things i wanted to do with him:
learn to trust.
learn gnostic mass and perform with him.
study magick alongside him.
create art.
make musick.
etcetera.
learn how to smash old patterns for new.
(that does not include using me as your experiment while attempting to be less of abusive, verbally and emotionally. and the passive agression has worn me out. again).
burning.
owie!!!
aflame....
cool it off with nice thoughts for my future.
looks bright, need sunglasses.
see me.
star shine.
one.
womanimal.
wounded.
in love.
"love is the law, love under will."
v^v***

***this diatribe will go on until fully purged

2005-09-19T15:46:00.001-07:00

2005-09-19T15:46:00.000-07:00

death to the old order

2005-09-19T15:32:00.000-07:00

‡ Under the influence of some strange drug thereof. Some call it, "love." I call it addiction to a malady that has ailed me for years now, the repeat encore performance of spinning ridiculous patterns that were better off smashed aeons ago. Busy evolving, find there are aspects of this I do not like. Hopeless romantic(?), foke the foking romans...

Sniping and back-biting. What worth is there in that type of human behaviour? Lying for the sake of saving one's face, really, this is about pride and the "look good"-Stealing from those nearest to you...questioning gestures and mannerisms that wreak of insecurity and deception...Sneaking me drugs without my permission, this is the man I love, he gives me strrange drugs thereof, at times, without my knowing about it beforehand. Whaddya think of that folks? I think it's pathetic, I reveal the bloody heart on my sleeve. I look for no sympathy, so don't give me any. Hate that crap too. Just needed a small padded cell to vent in and yell, YELL, YELLLL!!! God damn it all to hell.
"Love is the law, love under will."
93s chumps.
Over.
Not out.
^V^

An Exegesis Liberated

2005-09-15T10:14:00.000-07:00

Exegesis of LIBER AL

(Note: Qabalistic Numerations are denoted by words & phrases printed in all UPPER CASE.)

Using the given values for the letters of the English alphabet, and applying the rules of Qabalah where the values of the letters comprising words and phrases are added to derive their Numerations, we find some interesting results.

The number 23 is a glyph of life, and of the Great Work. Listed for 23 in our Book of Numbers we find the word ABIDE, one meaning of which is "to live". We also find ANKH, the Egyptian hieroglyph that represents the "sandal strap" which is symbolic of the "power of going" of the gods. The ANKH, symbol of life, is also the "Crux Ansata", another symbol of the Great Work.

The permutations of 23 are interesting:
bullet

23 x 2 = 46, which is the number of MU, the cry of the Vulture of Maat, by English Qabalah™ (E.Q.™).

The following words also add to 46:
bullet

IPSOS, an important mantram of Maatian Magick described by Nema
bullet

SAME MOUTH
bullet

MAAT/NUIT
bullet

AL ShDI ~ "The Lord Initiating"

bullet

23 x 3 = 69, where we find listed 23rd PATH, which is the Path of Ipsos:

bullet

THE DAUGHTER
bullet

BY THE SAME MOUTH
bullet

NEW-AEONIC OBEAH
bullet

THE HIEROPHANT
bullet

THE ENTRANCE
bullet

UNIVERSE 'B'

bullet

23 x 4 = 92, the number of MANIFESTATION by E.Q.

bullet

SHAITAN-AIWASS
bullet

THE EATER OF FILTH
bullet

THE BRIDE OF CHAOS
bullet

THE BACK OF THE TREE
bullet

THE MASKS OF MAAT
bullet

THE ELEVEN TOWERS
bullet

THE COLD WASTE
bullet

THE VEIL OF THE VOID
bullet

THE UNUTTERABLE
bullet

THE BACKWARD WAY
bullet

THE WAY OF THE SHAMAN
bullet

NEITHER-NEITHER

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23 x 5 = 115 ~ Here the active feminine energy of 5 is multiplied by 23, number of the Great Work. Within the number 115 we find the means, energy, and activity by which we may acquire the "power of going" reserved for those who would be gods. This completes the cycle of fives:

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THE KEY OF THE RITUALS
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THE BOOK OF THE SPIDER
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THE MANIFESTED WORD
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THE COVENANT OF SET
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THE CIRCLES OF TIME
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THE SOUL OF NU-ISIS
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GREAT MAGICK POWER
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BLOOD ESSENCES
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FORBIDDEN WISDOM
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THE DOUBLE CURRENT
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THE PLACE OF PLEASURE
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THE SCARLET WOMAN
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THE TEMPLE OF THE BEAST
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THE PLACE OF THE CROSS
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THE PLACE OF THE ABYSS
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GATE FOR THE AEON OF MAAT
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DOOR TO THE UNKNOWN
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SETHIAN TUNNELS.

Applying E.Q. values to the text of Liber AL
I.24: "I am Nuit, and my word is six and fifty."

NUIT adds to 27 as does HADIT, her reflection/ complement. I AM NUIT totals 37, the number of manifestation of the magical current of Set-Shaitan. 37 is 111 divided by 3, signifying that Nuit is one aspect of the three-fold manifestation of the highest principle of the soul ~ 111 ~ symbolized by the "thousand petalled lotus", Kether, the first Sephira of the Tree of Life.

I AM A GOD, DARK, DOUBLE, BRIDE, NAKED, NIGHT, SEVEKH, AMRITA, THE GATE all add to 37, suggesting that the Dark Twin of the Sun belongs to the realm of the Feminine. 37 also IS A KEY.

MY WORD IS SIX AND FIFTY adds to 148 ~ 37 x 4 ~ Nuit in manifestation. Here we find listed BABALON THE GATE OF THE GOD ON, THE EVOLVING COSMIC NET, THE FORMULA OF THE LEAPERS, THE GATEWAY AT THE BACK OF THE TREE. One of its permutations, 418, lists ABRAHADABRA, THE ORACLE THAT ISSUES FROM SPACE BY THE GATEWAY AT THE BACK OF THE TREE.

SIX AND FIFTY adds to 92, where we find CONTINUOUS ONE, IN MY NAME HIDDEN, IS A SECRET KEY, A FEAST FOR TAHUTI, FORCE AND FIRE, THE WORK OF THE WAND, PURE WHITENESS, GLITTERING GOLD, KISSES OF NU, and others, suggesting that in this expansion of 23 into the four elements lies clues to the rituals which will open consciousness to Universe B.

SIX + FIFTY = 66 ~ the sum of the numbers 1 through 11, which is the mystic number of the Great Work. Sixty-six also equals eleven multiplied by the solar six of Tiphareth, the sphere of the formula of the Rose Cross, a glyph of the Great Work. Here also is KNOWLEDGE, MAGICK POWER, ANTI-LIGHT, SACRIFICE, SERPENT, YOG-SOTHOTH.

56 = 7 x 8: mind and emotion, the masculine and feminine in explosive union. Listed here is THE KEY OF IT, A SECRET, OF THE KHABS, THE STAR, NU-ISIS, THE SHADOW, REVEAL IT, RISE UP & AWAKE.

The total Numeration of the verse I AM NUIT AND MY WORD IS SIX AND FIFTY is 217, where we find listed: THE SCARLET WOMAN IS ALL POWER GIVEN, THE HEAVENS REFLECTED INTO THE HELLS ~ referring to a type of New Aeon tantra.

I.25: "Divide, add, multiply, and understand."

This sentence may apply to the qabalistic process itself: first "divide" each word into its component letters, then "add" the values of the letters to derive the numerations of the words, "multiply" these words into phrases and sentences, and finally come to "understand".

The Numeration of this sentence is 247, where we find listed: OBTAIN THE ORDER & VALUE OF THE ENGLISH ALPHABET, THAT TEMPLE IS ALREADY ARIGHT DISPOSED.

I.45: "The perfect and the perfect are one perfect and not two; nay, are none!"

PERFECT equals 54, which is also NOTHING. So, by the Doctrine of Sympathies, NOTHING is PERFECT. NUIT + HADIT also adds to 54, where we find BLISS, OF THE EARTH. THE PERfECT adds to 67 ~ a prime, or "perfect" number which is indivisible by any integer other than 1. Here we find that THE PERFECT are: BLESSED, INVISIBLE, MIGHTIER, NOT KNOWN, OF HER LIGHT, THELEMITES.

ARE ONE equals 37 ~ another prime, the number of the full manifestation of the magickal current of Set, which also lists: TRUTH, DOUBLE, THE GATE, AMRITA. 73, the qabalistic reversal of 37, and a number of Chokmah, lists: ONE PERFECT, A SECRET KEY, IS THE CROWN, MY ECSTASY, NONE...AND TWO. ARE ONE PERFECT equals 91, another "perfect" (prime) number, where we find listed: WE ARE ONE: WE ARE NONE, THE ONE IS KETHER, THE SUPREME KALA, THE WATER OF LIFE.

THE PERFECT AND THE PERFECT add to 160, which is also the number of ARE ONE PERFECT AND NOT TWO. The total numeration of these two half-phrases is 320, which is the number of the following sentence: SELF-GENERATIVE AND COMPLETE AS ARE THE HIGHEST GODS, TRANSCENDING THE DUAL POLARITIES OF EXISTENCE, THE MANIFESTATION OF NON-MANIFESTATION OF UNIVERSE B.

I.46: "Nothing is a secret key of this law. Sixty-One the Jews call it. I call it eight, eighty, four-hundred & eighteen. But they have the half. Unite by thine art so that all disappear."

NOTHING IS, and A SECRET KEY each add to 73, the number of Chokmah, and of THE HOUSE OF GOD, THE RITUALS, THE VULTURE.

"Sixty-One the Jews call it....But they have the half". Sixty-one is the number of Ain in Hebrew Qabalah ~ nothing. If "they have the half" then perhaps we have the other half. Adding the numeration of "nothing", Ain, to that of NOTHING by E.Q. we have: 61 + 54 = 115.

A SECRET KEY OF THIS adds to 115, which is also the number of: THERE ARE FOUR GATES, IN THE SECRET WORD, FORBIDDEN WISDOM, WORSHIP THEN THE KHABS, ALWAYS IN THE LOVE OF ME, SHALL YE COME TO MY JOY.

Mathematically, "nothing" as it exists in Universe A is described in this way: (+1) +(-1) = 0. Qabalistically, "nothing" is described as: L.V.X. (+1) + N.O.X. (-1) = 61 = Ain = nothing = zero. We know that zero in Universe A can be described mathematically as 0/1; while zero in Universe B is described as its inverse, the irrational number: 1/0.

"Unite by thine art so that all disappear": 0/1 + 1/0 equals Infinity ~ nothing ~ resulting from the dynamic union of opposites.

Next, consider the words themselves: EIGHT adds to 26, number of GOD, HEAVEN, DEATH, and NU + HAD.

EIGHTY adds to 32, number of ALIL, Hebrew "nothing". Eighty is the sum of the Tetragrammaton: NU + HAD + NUIT + HADIT, and also the Numeration of THE FOUR GATES, and THE GREAT WORK.

FOUR-HUNDRED & EIGHTEEN adds to 124 ~ 31 + 31 + 31 + 31 ~ the formula of N.O.X. in the regenerative current of the New Aeon. The light and dark twins, HERU-PA-KRAATH and RA-HOOR-KHUIT each add to 124, where we also count THE STAR BROTHERS, THE DOUBLE-WANDED ONE, THE STAR OF NU-ISIS, JOY OF DISSOLUTION, THE DESOLATE PLACES, THE GATE OF INGRESS, THE NIGHTSIDE OF EDEN.

26 + 418 = 444, number of TzPRDO, the frog, and of SUPREME AND TERRIBLE GOD WHO MAKEST THE GODS AND DEATH TO TREMBLE BEFORE THEE!

I.60: "My number is 11, as all their numbers who are of us."

NUMBER and ELEVEN, the number of magick, both add to 41, where we find BEAUTEOUS, JOY & BEAUTY, LUST, SNAKE, YOUR JOY, which call to mind Atu XI ~ Lust, a glyph of Magick; and the words WISDOM, CROWN, DIVINE, KTEIS.

MY NUMBER IS 11 adds to 83, the number of THE HIDING OF HADIT, THE WORSHIP OF NU, THE NIGHTSIDE, THE SPACE BETWEEN, THE CITY OF SET, THE NIGHT OF PAN, THE MASS OF MAAT, THE MASK OF DEATH.

MY NUMBER IS 11 AS ALL THEIR NUMBERS equals 217, the number of THE SERVANTS OF THE STAR & THE SNAKE, THE HEAVENS REFLECTED INTO THE HELLS.

ALL THEIR NUMBERS WHO ARE OF US adds to 167, the number of ELEVEN AS MY BRIDE IS ELEVEN.

AS ALL THEIR NUMBERS WHO ARE OF US adds to 184 ~ the Dyad multiplied by 92 of MANIFESTATION. By Least Number method, 92 = 9 + 2 = 11, bringing us back to the number 11.

THE DIAMOND STAR-STONE OF MAAT, adds to 184, which is 23 x 8 ~ a glyph of the Great Work multiplied by Hadit's sacred number.

MY NUMBER IS 11 AS ALL THEIR NUMBERS WHO ARE OF US adds to 261, a number of Besqul which also find: BUT WITH THE JUST I AM EIGHT AND ONE IN EIGHT: WHICH IS VITAL. Also listed are THE UWWINKING EYE WHICH EMITS INVISIBLE RAYS, TRANSMITTING INFERNAL INFLUENCES, THUS ARE THE HEAVENS REFLECTED INTO THE HELLS.

II.15: For I am perfect, being not; and my number is 9 by the fools, but with the just I am eight, and one in eight. Which is vital, for I am none indeed.

AM PERFECT adds to 61, as does BEING NOT, for perfection lies in the dissolution perceived as Nothing.ONE IN EIGHT also equals 61.

MY NUMBER IS 9 equals 81, the square of 9, where we find THE HIDDEN GOD, A TWO-HEADED GOD, THE FULL MOON, THE PLACE BELOW, THE LUNAR HONEY, REFLECTION, BEYOND KETHER.

WITH THE JUST I AM EIGHT adds to 96 ~ i.e. 8 multiplied by a zodiacal cycle of 12, for "the just" comprise all 12 astrological types, all classes of humanity. Also listed here are FOURFOLD WORD, HIS SECRET NAME, THE EATER OF DUNG, THE PLACE OF POWER.

II.15,16: "The Empress and the King are not of me; for there is a further secret. I am the Empress & the Hierophant. Thus eleven, as my bride is eleven."

EMPRESS + KING add to 99, number of THE KEY OF THE ABYSS, THE CROSSING, THE CYNOCEPHALUS, THE SON OF TYPHON. By the Least Number method, 99 = 9 + 9 = 18 = 1 + 8 = 9.

THE EMPRESS & THE HIEROPHANT adds to 146, the number of THIS IS THE CITY OF BABALON, THE PLACE OF THE SECRET-ION, THE ZODIACAL QLIPHOTH.

146 = 1 + 4 + 6 = 11, "Thus eleven, as my bride is eleven." THUS ELEVEN adds to 38 = 3 + 8 = 11. Listed here we find LIGHT, THE WANGA, MAGICK, POWER, MAGUS, THELEMA ~ all descriptive of the powers of 11.

EMPRESS + HIEROPHANT equals 120 ~ the sum of the numbers 1 through 15. 120 also equals 1 x 2 x 3 x 4 x 5, which is a formula of the Rose Cross in the 5o = 6o ritual of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn. For 120 we find SUPREME DOOR OF DAATH, POWER-ZONE OF SET, THE GREAT PLACE BELOW, THE NEW MANIFESTATION, THE KEYS OF NEW-AEONIC OBEAH, THE DARK SCIENCES, 11 GATEWAYS OF THE VOID, THE SECRET HIDDEN EYE, STAR-STONE OF MAAT, WISH-FULFILLING GEM, OPENER OF THE PORTAL, THE MOUTH OF THE DAUGHTER, THE DAUGHTER IS THE GATE.

EMPRESS equals 64, which is the number of UNIVERSE, and of the Aztec avatar of Tonantzin, the goddess JEWELED ROBE.

HIEROPHANT adds to 56 which is PRECIOUS, OF THE KHABS, THE STAR, RADIANCE, THE CHARIOT, THE AEON OF NU. 56 = 5 + 6 = 11: the magickal formula of the Hierophant.

I AM THE EMPRESS & THE HIEROPHANT adds to 156, the number of Babalon, the Scarlet Woman, and number of the City of the Pyramids shrouded in the Night of Time; and their respective paths on the Tree of Life each cross the Abyss to Chokmah. For 156 we find these cognate concepts: THE ABOMINATION OF DESOLATION, THE GATE OF THE EVENING STAR, THE ORIGINAL LIGHT IN HEAVEN, THE SERPENT-TAILED WOMAN, A SERPENT-HAIRED GORGON, A PRIMORDIAL IMAGE OF TYPHON, THE CULT OF THE BLACK SNAKE, THE DARK DOCTRINE OF DAATH, SPIRITUAL ANNIHILATION, THE TRANSFORMING FIRE.

II. 75, 76: "Aye! listen to the numbers & the words: 4 6 3 8 ABK 2 4 ALGMOR 3 YX 24 89 RPSTOVAL."

"The numbers & the words" 4 6 3 B ABK 2 4 ALGMOR 3 YX 2 4 8 9 RPSTOVAL equals 211, the number of HRU, Great Angel of the Tarot, Angel of the current Aeon, where we find listed MAKE THE CROSSING INTO NON-BEING; EARTH THE DOUBLE CURRENT Of THE TOWER; CHORONZON THE BEAST OF THE ABYSS; THE WESTERN LAND OF THE QLIPHOTH; THE BEST BLOOD IS OF THE MOON, MONTHLY; THE IMAGE OF THE BLACK LUNAR CURRENT; THE STELLAR REPRESENTATIVE; THE NEURONAUT HIMSELF IS BLASTED; UNITE IN AN EXPLOSION OF ECSTASY.

2005-09-12T14:32:00.000-07:00

You're looking for something. A way to fill in the void that screams out, "me," everytime you turn another corner. Some oldtimer in A.A. once told me, "No matter where you go, there you are." Can't escape that fact folks. It sucks, yes, yes I agree, it sucks. But only if you let it. I sit here day in and day out as of late, by choice. Does it suck? Yes and no. I don't get to see a lot of the people I miss the most. I socialize very little. Some days I accomplish more at the "Great Work" than others. Definitely a lazy mage, no doubt. Don't record the vast percentage of happenings in my daily life that I (SHOULD) be. hate that fucking word too, "should." Yeah, quit "should've-ing all over yourself."
Blah.
Get tired of certain patterns being built as I write, must smash the little monsters before they grow, like Cthulian tentacles wrappping around my psyche. Little lovefuck squiggly things, getting lopped off with a big blade, they are. Choronzon, go home!
Lol.
It's all good.
Light is on.
See clearly.
Missing elemental.
One.
Love is the law, love under will.

Darkness Before Light

2005-09-10T10:45:00.000-07:00

DARKNESS

by: George Gordon (Lord) Byron (1788-1824)

had a dream, which was not all a dream.
The bright sun was extinguish'd, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
Morn came and went--and came, and brought no day,
And men forgot their passions in the dread
Of this their desolation; and all hearts
Were chill'd into a selfish prayer for light:
And they did live by watchfires--and the thrones,
The palaces of crowned kings--the huts,
The habitations of all things which dwell,
Were burnt for beacons; cities were consum'd,
And men were gather'd round their blazing homes
To look once more into each other's face;
Happy were those who dwelt within the eye
Of the volcanos, and their mountain-torch:
A fearful hope was all the world contain'd;
Forests were set on fire--but hour by hour
They fell and faded--and the crackling trunks
Extinguish'd with a crash--and all was black.
The brows of men by the despairing light
Wore an unearthly aspect, as by fits
The flashes fell upon them; some lay down
And hid their eyes and wept; and some did rest
Their chins upon their clenched hands, and smil'd;
And others hurried to and fro, and fed
Their funeral piles with fuel, and look'd up
With mad disquietude on the dull sky,
The pall of a past world; and then again
With curses cast them down upon the dust,
And gnash'd their teeth and howl'd: the wild birds shriek'd
And, terrified, did flutter on the ground,
And flap their useless wings; the wildest brutes
Came tame and tremulous; and vipers crawl'd
And twin'd themselves among the multitude,
Hissing, but stingless--they were slain for food.
And War, which for a moment was no more,
Did glut himself again: a meal was bought
With blood, and each sate sullenly apart
Gorging himself in gloom: no love was left;
All earth was but one thought--and that was death
Immediate and inglorious; and the pang
Of famine fed upon all entrails--men
Died, and their bones were tombless as their flesh;
The meagre by the meagre were devour'd,
Even dogs assail'd their masters, all save one,
And he was faithful to a corse, and kept
The birds and beasts and famish'd men at bay,
Till hunger clung them, or the dropping dead
Lur'd their lank jaws; himself sought out no food,
But with a piteous and perpetual moan,
And a quick desolate cry, licking the hand
Which answer'd not with a caress--he died.
The crowd was famish'd by degrees; but two
Of an enormous city did survive,
And they were enemies: they met beside
The dying embers of an altar-place
Where had been heap'd a mass of holy things
For an unholy usage; they rak'd up,
And shivering scrap'd with their cold skeleton hands
The feeble ashes, and their feeble breath
Blew for a little life, and made a flame
Which was a mockery; then they lifted up
Their eyes as it grew lighter, and beheld
Each other's aspects--saw, and shriek'd, and died--
Even of their mutual hideousness they died,
Unknowing who he was upon whose brow
Famine had written Fiend. The world was void,
The populous and the powerful was a lump,
Seasonless, herbless, treeless, manless, lifeless--
A lump of death--a chaos of hard clay.
The rivers, lakes and ocean all stood still,
And nothing stirr'd within their silent depths;
Ships sailorless lay rotting on the sea,
And their masts fell down piecemeal: as they dropp'd
They slept on the abyss without a surge--
The waves were dead; the tides were in their grave,
The moon, their mistress, had expir'd before;
The winds were wither'd in the stagnant air,
And the clouds perish'd; Darkness had no need
Of aid from them--She was the Universe.

LUX

For the One I Never Saw...

2005-09-10T08:55:00.000-07:00

Haunted When the Minutes Drag
The word that would best describe this feeling
Would be haunted
I touch the clothes you left behind
That still retain your shape
And I'm still haunted
I trace the outline of your eyes
Blue in the mirror
Hypnotized and haunted
I find a solitary hair
Golden still I remenice
I'm haunted

Haunted by your soul
Haunted by your hair
Haunted by your clothes
Haunted by your eyes
By your soul, by your hair
By your clothes, by your eyes
By your voice, by your smile
By your mouth, by your soul
By your hair, by your clothes
By your eyes, by your voice
By your smile, by your mouth
By your soul

HAUNTED (haunted)

So this is for when you feel happy
And this is for when you feel sad
And this is for when you feel...
Nothing

OOOOH when the minutes drag
OOOOH when the minutes drag

And this is for the tears that won't dry
And this is for a bright blue sky
And this is for when you feel...
Lucky
And this is for when you feel...
Lucky

OOOOH when the minutes drag
OOOOH when the minutes drag

So this is for when you're feeling happy again
And this is for when you're feeling sad
And this is for when you feel...
Something

OOOOH when the minutes drag
OOOOH when the minutes drag

HAUNTED (haunted)
When the minutes drag
HAUNTED (haunted)
When the minutes drag

OOOOH
OOOOH

Love & Rockets

'LOVE IS THE LAW, LOVE UNDER WILL.'

LOVE FOR M.